Lackluster. That's probably the best way to describe myself right now. I guess there's really nothing to look forward to anymore. It's a routine really. School, readings, assignments, rugby, tuitions,gym...my friends told me that i needed to break out of my routine; That I looked burned out. I feel burned out. But then, most of the time, I feel that there is this one level that I have yet to reach. I guess the thought of getting there has yet to appear appealing me.

The thought of being somewhere on time has also not rubbed into me. I am perpetually late these days. Like right now, I have already planned to be late for lessons and take my own sweet time to do things. I'm changing- but not necessarily for the better. It's like my pre-enlistee days but even then, I had something to look forward to. That something that I looked forward to did not disappoint me at all!

I guess it's my own wanting of being committed to something now. Pangseh-ing, ponning, skipping training or simply just being late for anything does not seem so hard for me to do anymore. It just does not matter to me anymore.

I need to break out of this. Im a fighter. Was one, still am. I can't just go down like this. Im whining too much! Bleagh!!!

you have been weighed you have been measured and you have been found wanting