Past few months, i've been listening to a lot of warna lately( thats the malay radio station for those numb chucks out there). Kinda reminds me of what it was like in this house 10 years ago. 10 years ago...hmm....primary school days. Those days are long gone...dont have to worry about at thing at all cept maybe for getting your homework done on time and urm...where you were at in the pokemon world. Yep.

10 years down the road and im wearing green...day in day out. And after a few months of training, im with my chevrons. Not so much pay but a lot more responsibilties lately. I dont mind them responsibilities. Hell....i love it...i think. At least my men are motivated. And that is good enough for me. 10 years and im shoved with a lot of things to think of. A lot....a real big lot. The kind of things that adults do. Not children. And come to think of it...i like being a child for once. Well...maybe that's why some parents are like that to their children. Coz they're cant bear the fact that their children is so happy and carefree and they're not. So they try to even the odds. Sounds like a stupid thing but it could be a very real fact. Who knows? Unless you're a parent, you wouldnt know right? Its like telling someone the dangers of urm..lets say smoking when that person doesnt even smoke or doesnt even noe someone personally who smokes and tat sort of activity actually caused the bugger some sort of a problem. Bleargh...long winded explanation usually doesnt get the point across....Let's summarize it. DOnt critisize coz u do not noe what the hell you're talking abt! Yea balls.

OOoookkay. Adulthood. Instead of something that im evolving into...im being thrown straight into it. Yep. And its unstoppable in singapore. U noe why? WElllllllllll....coz every male singaporean has to go thru National service once they reach a ripe red age of 18. Yep. The buggers who implemented it didnt even have to go thru with this shit and his son...welll let's just say he kinda skived thru everything. Well done! Bugger doesnt even noe that between now and 21....this is when a person gets to enjoy most of his life. He's young. He's more financially independant(not so but still...) and he's able to make choices without much restriction or obstruction of any way. So why the hell am in stuck and not being able to be somewhere else to develop myself so that i can evovle into an adult and not being shotgunned into one?!?!?

I mean that's so much that someone like me can do. ...like continue studying and getting a degree. Yeap. That could work out nicely for me. I could travel the world and see it without having to train for it and only getting it for only 4 days as a form of reward for my ever so dedicating hard working me! I wonder if they're still wondering why male singaporeans are quite immature. Well..there you go! Have fun trying to figure out what i've just said. AAOUAH!

Allrite. Hell week is finally over.....i guess. Finally got the cap badge that we had to suffer for. The week ended in a bang. Literally. Revielle at 0530 was by thunderflash. We had turnout! Funny part was we still had time to run to the toilet to pee before falling in. After that, all hell broke loose. We were rained with all sorts of punishments and a wonderful vocabulary of something something. Hell yeah! Drew arms within 10mins. Ran 5 klicks with SBO, helmet and rifle. Yeap. May seem nothing to some but to us...it was excruciating. This considering the fact that we were still sore from 5BX(times a million) from the past few days. Also, we had nvr ran the distance before. We carried on with casevac, weapon stripping and soc before another casevac. Oh yeah.....it was pain. Lots of it. Hell, i still havent recovered yet! The only way to survive that day was to keep telling oneselve: Nothing Lasts Forever.

The week ahead looks kinda relax...all thanks to the hell that is Brunei that awaits us this saturday. Im flying off....broke. Not very nice. Not very nice at all.

Fuck...all i can talk about is the army nowadays. We suffer the week thru and when the weekend comes, we're too tired to do anything else. Not to mention the amount of responsibilities we now have to shoulder being commanders....Sargeants...we're really screwed. Our men puts pressure from below while the officers puts pressure from the top. We're not screwed...we're squished. Squished Kebab.

Hopefully the nxt 1 year and 3 months will pass on by quickly......dont think i'll ever be the same again....ever.

"Sargeants are the solution to all problems at hand"
-an officer

All right. This is it. This is what i've been training for for the past 21 weeks of my life. To become a leader. Become a specialist. No use having second thoughts about it. It'll only make things even worse. And yes. Brunei. Holy FUCK! Just get it done and over with i guess.

Been meeting a lot of old friends lately. I wonder why. just a an hour ago, i bumped into Rizal. Been school mates ever since primary school all the way till secondary school. And last weekend, Syakir bumped into me online. A few days ago, bumped into ful. Yeap. A lot of bumping into some old friends. Not to mention catching up wif my jc classmates last friday. Life was good....till now. Booking in to fulfil my job as a fucking platoon sargeant. Blearhg. A job is a job that needs to be done properly and excellently. Oh wells....

Still, i could have gone to guards you know.....its just a thought.

That's it. After 21 weeks of Section Leader Course...ive finally passed out as a 3SG. Some say the course is one tough nut. I seemed to have cracked it effortlessly. Sure....sacrifices were made. But...didnt really feel anything. All i was doing was doing what had to be done. Ya balls. Dun want to get fucked was one thing. Getting things done properly only benefitted myself. Sounds selfish but that's human nature. They wouldnt do anything at all unless it would benefit them. Dont believe it, reflect upon yourself. When was the last time you did something as a selfless act? So what if you donated 20cents to some flag day thing? I bet its for you to get that damn sticker and treat it as a form of immunity against hordes of "volunteers" who would come and pester you for some loose change to be dropped inside the tin can.

Sadly, i didnt make it to the elites. Seems like everyone is going somewhere that they dont want to go. Im going to an infantry regiment as a platoon sargeant. Platoon sargeant......hmm...sounds glamorous. But it sure as fuck is a lot of shit. Care for your men comes into priority. Plus, you have to look after your PC as well. Well done FAdzil! What the fuck did you get yourself into? Well...a job is a job tat needs to be done. Hopefully im going to do a good job. Balancing between care for soldiers and letting them step all over me. Its a god damned thin line. One which i will be balancing for the next 1 year and 3 months.

On other news, i just came back from taiwan. Guess what? Im going to brunei on the 2nd. YippeeE!! Im fucked. Its been barely a week since i touched down in singapore and now i have to fly off again for another 3 weeks. This time though, im going as a commander. This brings the next question....i wonder if there'll be any difference for the trip this time around.

Wonder how the previous commander do it. Well...either im going to perform as how they did or do a better job. Hope it'll be the latter part.

Swift & Deadly

IM BACK! IM FINALLY BACK! Can believe it! IM NEVER FLYING AGAIN! NEVER!!! But only if im given the choice lah. NS, not much choice. Fly means fly. Training means training. No two-way about it. Afterwards, it would be land transport for me all the way. Maybe im just being paranoid but i hate flying. Why? Coz its really uncontrolled. I dont fly the plane but even if i did, it will still be uncontrolled. Unless of course i suddenly have the control of gravity and i grew wings instead. Besides im claustrophibic and have a fucking fear of heights. Yea balls. FLying was the only thing that stood between Singapore and Taiwan. Im fine at being at either places. The flying part was a huge turn off.

Taiwan...what about taiwan? We climbed mountains almost everyday(Im supposed to be very fit now...rite..). Its fresher, more relaxed and very unclustered. Heck, i like it there. After 3 weeks being there, i didnt really feel the urge of not being at home. I didnt mind at all. Tat was really really scary. 4 days of longstride was very adventurous? GEtting lost before finding our way out. The view that we kept bumping into consistently during that exercise was simply to die for. Eventually, we were fucked for simply taking it too easy. Hehs. So imagine how much we rushed to make up for the lost time. We ended up overtaking a lot of teams and reaching the end point at a very civilised timing. Lucky sons of a gun we were.

After that was 9 days of warrior. 9 days of balls scratching action. One objective a day. That's how fucking boring being an infantryman can get. Okaylah, we had our share of fun. Moving off 2 or 3 am in the morning to our objective. Take the objective within seconds(most of the time anyway. The last one took us 45mins). Fighting on top of mountains. And on technical break, washing ourselves in some orange plantation. I mean, how many times in your life do you get to run around stark naken in some orange plantation? Chances are never. We were lucky to be able to do so. On one harbour site, we had plenty of oranges to eat. PLENTY! It was nice. AFter the last objective, we had to evac from the place to the LZ. It was supposed to be a helievac. Instead of Choppers, we had tonners waiting for us. How we get there from our objective is pretty much "inspiring". REmember the movie, BLACK HAWK DOWN. When they ran from their last stronghold to their safe haven? Ya. We did the same thing. Running with our wounded and dead. EVERYTHING ON! Pretty cool.

Rnr cam soon after. Well, im too lazy to write it. As soon as i get them online, i'd update u all. HAve to report tmr at 0730hrs. Crap. Back to the regimental lifestyle again. Fucking hate it. Anyways, POP in a week's time. Nxt wednesday, i'd be offically 3SG FADZIL. Dun mess with me. I'm not nice to mess with. Never. Im of a different breed. The rare aggressive kind. My buddies have seen it. My men will soon see it. Good luck to them. Hey-ah Ho-ah Infantry-ah!