Life at this moment is pretty much dreary. God knows how much I am hating life right now. Many a times do I look down from my corridor during my rare puffs at home and wonder how it is like to be dead right now. But then, I take another drag before putting it out and heading in. This is not the life that I dreamt of while growing up. It simply has no flavor to it. Everyday, it's just one routine after another. I missed how life was like when I was growing up at the age of 19.
I had always known that peace is only a temporary period between two conflicts. And during any conflict, life has a different meaning for them. For those who fight for it, life has a different flavor that the sheltered will never know. Right now, it's all too mundane, too safe. I do not crave for this life. Never did I know that once I am out of there, I would never experience such a thing ever again. I crave the danger, I crave the excitement. Nothing else has given me as much adrenaline rush, as much comfort, as it had when I was once in green.
Sure, everyday people tell me to move on. People tell me that that was just a phase of my life as a Singaporean son. But it felt more than that to me. It felt like life. The one that I was built for, the one that I was made for. Alas, its not meant to be. Perhaps this is what progress feels like- to be constantly shoved out out of our comfort zones.
For now, I really need that break. Nobody else needs that break more than I do. And it would be nice if I had it with chubs and no one else. That would be just perfect. Work is draining me. After every night shift, the slightest of things can simply tick me off that easily. So yes, I need to gain back my sanity; what's left of it anyway.
All your anger, all your hurt
It doesn't matter in the end
Those days go by and we all start again
What you had and what you lost
They're all memories in the wind
Those days go by and we all start again
Days gone by- The Offspring
No comments:
Post a Comment