School of Infantry Specialists. SISPEC. Fondly the acronym for Suffer in Silence, Please Endure and Control. Urm, some truth to that. But who's complaining? We're there to train to become junior leaders. Yeah. I've finally accepted the fact that all im going to become is a Sergeant in the army. Yup. The psycho-ing that they did to me didnt affect my judgement. It was my mere reflection of the good that i could do as a Sergeant. As the saying goes, " The sergeant IS the army". Without us, wars cannot be fought. 1 person cannot command 27 soldiers effectively without someone like us to guide them effectively. We are the link between them and the warriors. We are the link that will decide whether victory is ours or not.

Well, suprisingly, there are still people who tries to wayang. Very suprising indeed. I dont really see the point of them doing that. I mean, you dont become a good sergeant by showing off in front of ur superiors. You do it by earning the respect of your men thru your leadership, your fighting spirit, your fitness and by being a soldier first. I cant accept the fact that people do not think of the bigger implication our training has on us. Firstly, we're soldiers. That means we're the guys who fight wars. We kill fuckers who try to invade our island. We make sure people who do the same do not get killed. We win the war. Plunder is ours. Also known as spoils of war. Yes. That's what we're supposed to do. Not, " I want to go to OCS!" For fuck!? The fucker cant even give a good reason to why he wants to go to OCS. WEll, i can think of a few. It does make ur resume look good. BUT FUCK! We're soldiers!

If you cant operate as a soldier and train as a soldier, what's the use of NS. You're not there to play im-the-best-and-not-you-all-coz-im-an-officer-and-ure-not-so-piss-off-fucker. This isnt some fucking school camp. This is real. War might come anytime soon anw. So might as well train to fight a war. Not get-gold-for-ippt-and-sub9.30-for-soc-so-that-i-can-go-to-ocs-and-sign-on. Fuck. That was what i wanted to do. Sign on as an officer. Why? Because i believe i can contribute more to society as a soldier. Why an officer? Well, i believe i have ideas on how the SAF can fight a war more effectiveyl. That's y i want to go there. Yes. But his? Fuck. Just so that he can look good.

Why god? Why do you create such people? Is it so that we will know what tolerance is? Well, if it is than thank you. But tt fuse my just break anytime soon. If it does, the fucker's in for a jolly good ride.

WITH PRIDE WE LEAD.
HOO-AH!

Basic Section Leader Course. Yeap. Back to basics. As a leader. More swearing. More cursing. More sweating. More learning. More leading. Hopefully there will be no wayang-ers down there. Or else....

SISPEC. Fucking SISPEC. What the fuck?! I wanted to sign on with the SAF. And they send me to SISPEC?!?! WTF is wrong with them?!? And they keep wondering why is it that they have a shortage of manpower at all times. Becoz...PPL LIKE ME WHO WANTED TO SIGN ON AS AN OFFICER GETS TURN DOWN WHILE PPL WHO DONT WANT IT AT ALL GETS OFFERED A PLACE TO SIGN ON. THEY DO NOT EVEN WANT IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. SO WHY OFFER IT TO THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE??? OFFER IT TO PPL LIKE ME YOU DUMBFUCKS!

Tommorow is the day of the reckoning. Either i go OCS or SISPEC, i shall know tmr. OCS and i'll really sign on. SISPEC and urm...well, carry on for remaining time of my national service and then fuck off. Study. Get a job and laugh about my time serving the country. Well, maybe i'd sign up with some Private Military Contractor and see the world as a pro-soldier. That'd be the experience of lifetime, provided i dont get killed first. That'll be the day.

Crap, im out of things to write about. Maybe i'll write again later when im a little bit pissed. Yeap. That's about the right mood for me to write.

The magical word that starts with an RRRRR! RUGBY! The best thing that ever happened to me...yet. Its the only place for me when the world stops for 40mins at one time. I dont care what is going on outside. All that matters is me, my teamates and where the ball is. YEap. Rugby.

Ever since i started NS, i missed out alot on rugby. No. Ever since i finished school. Or maybe ever since the tourney ended last year. Yeap. The feeling sucks. I'd give anything...ANYTHING to play rugby for my school again. ANYTHING. Anything at all. Sian. Saw them on video when they played the final. I dying for that moment again. DYING! Schoolmates cheering you on. Everyone is so hype. And the prize is already within sight. At that point of time, the moment is yours. The field is yours. The game is yours. The world has it's eyes fixed onto you. Well, maybe a small portion of it. But heck...that's all you'll ever need.

Bad news is that i found out that i got bad at rugby. Havent touched the bloody oval ball for months. And now....i suck at it. Maybe a little bit rusty. After all this is done, maybe i shld pick up rugby again...who noes. Might lead me somewhere.

Its here again. The feeling of directionless. Life of no direction. I hate it so fucking much. Why? Well, i've really got nothing to do. Great. BLOCK LEAVE! Yeah. I wish there was something to do. 6 years ago it would be going to school in the morning. Training in the afternoon. Another training at night. Homework after that. Sleep. And the process would start all over again. In between would be fun and a bit of slacking. A BIT of slacking. The right dose of slacking can help someone relieve from all the stress of being a singaporean. But too much?! Fuck la. Do you what happens to soldiers that have a bit too much time on their hands? Mayhem. We play pranks on each other. Heck, history has showed us what soldiers are capable of when they are fucking bored. Crap....

Writing has become such a chore. Nowadays its the case that i blog every weekend. Only when i have the mood and time to do it. Usually the mood will be pissed or else i have no inspiration to write about something. Right now im pissed because i have written in quite awhile. Hence, there's inspiration...I think. More like motivation.

Past 9 weeks has been "enriching". I learnt how to take responsibility...well sort of. How to get things done right away when there's things to be done. No more procastinating. How to be confident in whatever i do. Even though it may seem wrong at first...just realize it and keep going with a little bit of adjustment here and there. Yeah. Improvise. And conditions are never ideal. You get what you're given and make do with what you have. Squeeze out the best results even from the most shittiest situation. That's the army. =)

9 weeks passed so bloody fast. We didnt realize it was going to be that fast. We kept bitching and moaning and how grate we would be once we get out of Tekong. I hate more reasons because i live so bloody far away from it. Every weekend i take more than an hour to go home and go back to tekong home. That's the only bitch factor for me. Other than that, trainings fun, tiring, and sometimes things are done quite ridiculously dumb. Maybe im the only one to realize it. Or maybe im the only one to voice it out. Either way, thats the pissing factor of my BMT.

Well, hard times are gone. We move on. They'd become mere memories and we try desperately to stay connected to one another. I doubt everyone will do that. Only a certain few. The certain few who doesnt really care what others are like. But how much of a company they can provide. You give and take. You give in before you make others take in. You dont make them take what you give. Yeah. It'll never work that way.

Goodbye Cougar Company. Stay in touch soldiers...