It's been quite awhile since i last wrote anything. Been meaning to write but whenever i can think of something to write, i am nowhere near any computer. When i am at one, i am nowhere near anything to write about. Damn...maybe i should get myself a laptop or something that i can lug around everywhere i go so that when something does come out at the very last moment, i can just write about it without having to make the effort to retain whatever inspiration i have. Yes...it is extremely hard to do so...

Days into this relief teaching thing. Im kinda getting the hang of it. Half a day of work..educating and moulding our young. The other half with sayang. Not a bad deal after all. So far, it's been quite a refreshing journey. Yeap. However, i do crave to hold a gun once more. But not doing what i've been doing for the last 2 years of my life. ITs booooooooooooooring!!!! Kinda crave to do things that special forces do. But then, i've been told time and time again im nowhere near their standard...in terms of physical fitness that is...and not to forget about the race thingy. Yeap...

I don't know why, but i really really like everything and anything that has got to do with the second world war. Be it the movies, the documentaries, the books or the games. Was everything mentioned? It was a time of great suffering. Yes...it was terrible to experience war. Especially for those who did not take up arms to fight but still suffer the collateral damage that it has. I sometimes wished that i had fight it in...among the victors that is(nobody likes to be on the losing end anyway. That's why when someone calls you a loser, it triggers off suicidal thoughts like what has been portrayed on the news these past years). I am not sure why, but i would think that to fight and survive one, it would somehow impact my life greatly. I guess i would really appreciate what i have even more after being deprive of it for years on end. Especially being away from home....

I would be doing my very own part to help mankind. Im not craving for glory or any sort of nonsense. I just feel that if i was fighting in one, im contributing to humankind....I don't know...i just kind feel that way......

Have you all ever noticed lately? The kind of movies that they have been making. Independence Day, War of the Worlds, The Day after Tomorrow, Cloverfield and the list goes on and on....Its all about one general genre. Not the ones that you all refer to but by this: End of the World. And it really got me thinking...the end of the world really is going to come soon isn't it? I mean, where do all these people get their inspiration from? The tell-tale signs perhaps? Religious books which have stressed out about the end-of-the-world-is-coming-and-we-should-behave-our-best-so-that-we-can-get-to-heaven point? Damn...that is scary you know...the end of the world thing. Kinda like REM's song "Its the end of the world and we know it, and i feel fine......" Hahahaha, how can anyone feel fine about it? Damn man..im pissed scared out of it. Hmm....maybe i should appreciate more that i have been lately. I already appreciate that special someone in my life right now =) hehs. I already appreciate my family. Maybe i shld really really appreciate them even more. No...its not a maybe anymore. It's a definite must do! Act upon it. Execution of the plan it shall be =)

2 days of doing relief teaching has gotten me craving for more. Seriously, i don't find any difference in between being a sergeant in the army and a teaching in urm...MOE? It's practically almost the same thing. I shape, i mould and i teach. Yeap, TEACH!

It's not like its everyday that you do this. Well, for me it isnt coz im really just a relief. It's kinda like doing relief work for the sick teachers and children who are sick of teachers. Hmm...i kinda feel sorry for the kids coz of what they have to go thru. But hey, i went thru it before. I was a kid before...(i think, therefore i was) i know what its like to get all the homework that keeps piling up with every procastination attempt(you can practically break the guiness world record just by scaling that mountain) or the constant blarring from the teachers that you'd get. I eventually learnt to shut that out and ya...just learn. Hell, i've been to hell and back and look where i am right now? Waiting for august to come just so that i can pay ppl to get that treatment again from uni lecturers. Wohoo!! Im soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited!

But then, as a relief, i've also seen the plight of a teacher. Can you imagine just how many things a teacher has to do just to keep that job? There's sooo many job that one has to do that they eventually forgot what they were supposed to do in the first place...TEACH. INSPIRE. MAKE THEM ASPIRE TO DO SOMETHING WITH THEIR LIVES!!! And im talking abt the children here now...They are sooooooo burdened that they practically hate that job. The most honorable job one can ever do. Hell...its no longer a job, it becomes a responsibility. It becomes a pride. But in singapore, its no more than just another thing that puts a roof on your heads, a full stomach and a head full of aches.

I mean, c'mon! What's the deal man? Seriously, something has to be looked into this matter. Children are getting unmotivated to learn because the teachers are slowly but surely losing their motivation to teach. Damn....

Ever felt that you have so much to talk about or write about whilst you're out somewhere...isolated from the nearest pen and paper or maybe civilisation. But then, when you do get to where you desired to be, it all becomes a blank. You've lost whatever topic that you have conjured on the way to the nearest medium. Writer's bloc? Possibly. But what a person like me? Im not a professional writer. Im just...urm...writing for the sake of enjoying it. A hobby perhaps. A pastime maybe. Can i have the honor of experiencing a writer's bloc? Am i considered a writer? An amateur perhaps?

Well...i tend to get alot of those. Not just lately...but all the time. But then, slowly, one by one they flood my mind again and once more, i am ready to blabber to my heart's content! =)

Hmm...having diarrhea is a terrible thing to have. Last week...or maybe the week before, i practically spent my entire weekend in the toilet. Whatever was supposed to come up from my butt didnt really come up in the right form. It's supposed to be solidified, instead, it was pure liquid(i apologize for being disgusting here. But i just have to add what it feels like to have such thing!) Yup...minutes after you've just come out of the toilet, you feel like you just have to go back in again, and again and again and even until you've got nothing left to give, you just keep going on for more! Yeap...that's diarrhea.

But the thing is, i didnt want to be kept home even with diarrhea. I still went out with sayang. And ya...boy, singaporean male are just pure idiotic disgusts! DONT THEY EVER AIM?!?!?! THEY DONT EVEN BOTHER TO LIFT THE TOILET SEAT UP! Seems to me like they were trying to put out a fire with their pee or something because it really is ALL OVER THE PLACE!!! Hence, with a cramped up face and a determination of steel of not to lose it inside my pants, i ran about the shopping mall trying to find a nice decent toilet which toilet seat wasnt previously "on fire".

Maybe, just maybe the government should educate singaporean males on how to pee properly. Ya...i know. Old folks are just plain used to having that long urinal to pee at(and possible compare whose pee-pee is bigger or smaller than the other). They are just used to the luxury of spraying it all over the place without considering to aim coz in the end, its going to end up at one same place. Well, well, well....WELCOME TO THE PRESENT!!! AIM GODDAMIT!!! AIM!!! Its just pure disgusting...plus the amount of trouble you've just caused me...(im just lucky to have the guts of steel to last me the run from one toilet to another)

Maybe we should have those posters again? The aiming ones? Ya...or better yet, educated those buggers....

With people like these...i still wonder how the heck singapore got the best toilet award....