Do what is right because it's right



That's the quote im damn sure i'll be able to remember vividly thru my life. It's from Letters From Iwo Jima. Its not just another war flick. Yup. I noe ppl already started moaning and groaning "why another one?!?!". Well, it certainly had the cinemas filled up(i got a ticket 3 rows from the front and i got the ticket more than an hour before the show), it had good reviews, it certainly didnt have much hype than any other movies that were released this month(they all proved to be a huge dissapointment) and it certainly had a connection with me. Or my life at least at this very moment.

War. It's a terrible thing. Again...everybody can say that they noe that war's a bad thing. But do they? Do they even have the opportunity to even come close to war like situations? Nah...they just believe what they see on tv. They dont noe what goes beyond the tv screens. The actual human emotions. Our hopes and aspiration actually dies when we go to war. Nobody's coming home alive. People simply go to war and die. Cept' for generals who claim to fight wars and able to come back alive. Those bastards are simply sitting in some air-con room planning on how we soldiers eventually die. Whether we die on the enemy's left flank or the right. Whether it'd be death by small arms or huge guns. The list actually goes on. All we can do to stay alive is to look out for each other. Nevertheless, there will still be death. And im not only referring to our side but the other side as well.

NOticed that im not calling them the bad guys or enemies? Well...while our own forces may seem to be referred to as friendly forces to our people, we are also referred to as the enemy to their people. Vice-versa for the other side. See...that's war. Everybody dies. Everybody loses. Nobody gains. Nobody's right. You dont win for being right. You win cause you're left. You're the only one left. That's how you win a war. There you go...more sadistic truth about war.

It isnt just about people dying. Not about destruction or the lost for others. Its so much more than that. A lot more. Some lost in translation. Others just unspoken of. Think i might change my own perspective about going to war as well. Nothing glamourous. Nothing great. If someone tells you, "Congrats! We're going to war!!" or somewhere along the line, be sure to give the fucker a boot to the face cos he aint thinking straight. You simply do not congratulate people to die. You simply dont...

Oh wells. A year has gone. 20 now. Guess what i did on my birthday? That's rite...i lit up a candle...yes...yes. And then.......i started to dig my own shellscrape. Followed by inspecting my men's shellscrapes and attended orders. Yeap...the birthday of my life! So the exercise went along uneventfully. First time i led my men to a fight. First time i led anyone into a fight. 20 something men versus 51 men and we eventually overcame them. HHAHAHA! WE're good!!! Auuwah!

Okay...enuff with that bullshit. Its getting old. Back to real life. Well...that's what it is to most of us anyway. What is deemed as real life by many is only temporary to me and many men like me. So what is real to many? Well...i suppose what they read in the papers is what's real to most of them. And by them im referring to people of all ages, religion, race and sizes whom resides in this bloody island. Hmph...im getting nowhere with this.

In the papers a few days ago(the newpaper actually) i've read a really really sad story. It's about an old lady who got kicked out of her own house by her own son just because her bitch-in-law couldnt accept the fact that she works as a cleaner. BRAVO! Bravo bitch...u dont even take a second to even realize that its because of her dirty job that she's able to put her son thru medical school and he's eventually able to earn at least 200k a month. She said tat she's ashamed that her mom-in-law was a cleaner. WTF?! If she's ashamed that my feelings that i have for her would be undescribable. Disgusted? Horrified? No...that would still be an understatement. Hell..it would still be an understatement to call it an understatement. Reminds me of the malay folklore "tanggang". The son and the wife eventually got turned into stone. Wonder what they'll get turned into this time. Oh! Oh! I noe!!! They already did! Well..not literally but they're practically stone with what they're doing to her.

On other news(seems like im reporting the bloody news now) OUR MPs are doing a hip hop routine for the chingay parade this coming weekend! AS if they cant make a fool of themselves anymore, they decided to come up with this sort of bullshit! Their aim- to foster ties and understanding with the youths of singapore. Word of advice: you're old people. Doesnt matter when u were born. You're already old people. A few more years and you would be qualified for the purple ez-link concession pass. SO START ACTING YOUR AGE OLDIES! So what if you're born after indepence? So did most of the people i noe. But are they acting like a bunch of yuppies? Nope. They're acting their age like most adults should be. Want to act young? Head down to a club on weekned. Dying for some old school music to remind you that you were young once? There's DbLO with their satuday's mambo night.

WEll...i've got nothing else to write right now partly because my comp is laggging like hell. So some other time i guess

A few more hours before i really turn 20. Oh yeah...its the age where u grow old to join the group of twenties ppl yet you do not get the privileges that they get after they turn 21 or even 23. Dont get me wrong...im not in a hurry to grow older. Well...i used to but found it quite dissapointing. Being a child was still the best time of my life. No cares. No worries. No money.....but who cares? No job. No responsibilities.

Look at me now. Take care of 6 men...some of them actually older than me. Some babies on the way and all sorts of something going on in their background. That's like being shotgunned minus the wife. Sorta. But its all good. Going out to fight on my birthday tmr! Yeah. What a way to spend the day i got brought into this world. Training to take someone else's life from this world. The irony of it is so great that i have difficulty expressing it in a way that everyone understands.

Oh wells...happy birthday to me!

I went to watch my brother perform at the grand finals yesterday(ya...go watch it on tv) and i suddenly had a question to ask my self. What am i good for? My younger brother seems to have it all. He joined silat and fought his way to being a champion. He picked up the guitar only a couple of years ago and he won more than a thousand dollars. He's doing alrite in school. Hmm...my elder brother seems to receive a lot of care and concern from my parents. He picked up smoking and my parents jumped to his case. Counselled him and all till he stopped. He wants to learn how to drive...and my parents gave him all the financial support when he need them. And when his studies stunk...my parents jumped too.

What did i get? Hmm..i picked up smoking and my parents treat it as if it was all normal. No nagging. No scolding. No counselling. Nothing. I went to play in a rugby finals...they didnt come. They didnt even want to see my medal or trophies that i've won in subsequent tourneys. My studies were alrite and they didnt take notice. When my studies werent alrite...they couldnt care less. No..dont get me wrong here...im not complaining nor whining or whatever adjectives that you can creatively come up with to describe my situation here. Why? Well...coz u're not creative enough being the singaporean you are and im really not whining. Jealous? A little bit. But not for the attention that i lack of. Im loving it! Yeehaa! But for the achievements that both my brothers have made. Whatever they are capable of..im lacking of it. I cant play the guitar nor really be smart in a sensible way(coz i only like to study and be smart in something which everyone else isnt interested in). Im just not musically inclined i guess. YOu could try to get me to play the trumpet coz i used to play that instrument. Guitar was urm...to mat-ish for me. Im not being racist here...im just being a dickweed. ROfl

Anyway...my brother's band was really rocking'. They did a cover versh of a song which was really really refreshing. For those who watch the show on kids central...you'd have to wait for that episode. And at this very moment...im listening to it again and again. Kinda hooked onto it. If only they choose to record it or something...yea, they could practically quit school and do some heavy rocking full time. But this being singapore...that's a really stupid thing to do. It's different yes, needs a lot of courage yes, with a bit of luck they might be able to make it after all yes but its still really really stupid. Trust me on this one. Whenever a decision is deemed stupid, i'd be able to recognize it being that im in command of men who have made stupid decisions in their lives. So there you go...

And yes...back to camp with 2 swollen ankles(got them from jumping off a certain heightened carpark after the performace). At least my "policeman heel" thingy doesnt hurt as much now. Chinese pain theraphy really works this time around. I can run now!! wohooooo! But my ankle just got more swollen so i think im going to take a bit of time off from all the running with my men. And that's how the cookie crumbles....