15 more days till the day finally comes. The day when i finally get to see the thing which i was so eager to rid of 2 years ago. Well, 1 year at 10 mths ago actually. Guess i had this mental picture of what the army was going to be like. Too bad reality tarnished all that's fantasy. No, no, no, it didnt tarnish it, it destroyed it! BMT was a snore, SISPEC was alright especially when you have your buddies with you, 4SIR was enriching. But ultimately, i learned little about becoming the ultimate soldier and everything about becoming even more human....

Hmm...i've learned that not everyone is like the way you perceive they are. SOldiers. That very one word puts a thousand pictures into my head. Gung-ho "superhumans" who charge fearlessly into the heat of battle; thru the gunfire that rattles around them threatening to take them away from their loved ones at anytime god wants to. Hmm...that wasnt to be. Soldiers are your very classmate, neighbours and friends whom you've been with for the past years of your life. The very person who cannot run, thinks sports is too demeaning on them and that im simply a war-junkie. That very person is the kind of person who is going to defend our island nation when the need comes to(they keep saying when the button is pressed. When the button is pressed. Where the hell is that button!?!?!? I wanna find it and put it in some lift so that it can be pressed a lot more times and be fully utilised). That is your buddy there, your subordinates or your superior. People who simply think that NS is a bloody waste of time(i didnt say i totally disagree with them...ehehehehs)

Its when they come to you, to confide in you...that lets them know that you're really there for them. Cause if that cannot happen in peacetime, what makes you think that you're actually going to come back for your buddy, who's been shot up, under the rattling of the machine gun. It takes balls of steel to do something like that. But it simply takes the relationship you and your buddies have formed up over the years to substitute for balls of steel. So far, i've learned more about managing people and handling any sort of situation that they have. I learned more PR skills that Soldiering skills. Its more about handling what they want, and what i want out of them. Its a fine balancing game that puts you at the edge of your seat.

Set aside all that, 1 year 10 mths has already passed and yes, that is what i've learned so far....

Hmm...yesterday's short trip to jb was really astonishing. Ya...its been 7 years since i last been there. So dont mind if i really sound lost or just like a frog in a well. Its not that i've never been out of country, its just that i havent been there in a very long time. Well, not just jb, but the entire of malaysia actually. Thanks sayang, for making it worthwhile for me. =) That was one of the nicest thing this girl has ever done for me. Damn..how much luckier can i get??? I hope more. But whatever it is, i still want her to be by my side as the good times come rolling ahead....

By the way, how do you spell ordinary???

O-R-D-i-n-a-r-y

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I was really in the mood to write this weekend after i book out...or so i thought. Well, at least i really was. A million and one things to write and talk about. A million more to really bitch pure nonsense about. But out of that million, i guess i've gone overboard. A million and one perhaps? I really have no idea on what to talk about. 'Cept maybe for what happened over the past week.

Yup....the evaluation is over. And ya...while me and my men(the whole 90 of us) did pretty well...it took just a bunch of 103 idiots to screw it all for us. Home of the braves...puhlezzzzz. More like home of the 'busuks' or 'beraks' or 'berterabur' and probably a thousand of other more names to name 'B' Company. To sum it all up, they suck to the core. Which core? Apple core? Core of the earth? My corp? Your corp? God knows...and they still have the cheek to be happy about what they have achieved which is practically nothing...nothing at all.

Well...2 years of my life is gone just like that. Dang that whizzed by pretty fast. I didnt even realize that it was going to be over in a few months time just a few months back. It seemed to have lasted forever. Well...the memories will. The least. 2 years...i could say that i've accomplished a lot more than i could i have ever imagined. I was a godamned condemned recruit. But look what i've achieved so far. So those people who call themselves my BMT sargeant or PC...u guys no nothing cept to scream and shout at me. you wanna fuck me for no reason. Made me do countless numbers of pushups and crunches for every little small mistake that i've made. Look and where the fuck i am now you nitwits! You couldnt even possibly imagine what i've accomplished as a soldier.

I would say that i've experienced as a soldier is an all-rounded experience. I've gone thru all level of courses as a specialist. Went to 3 different countries. The farthest one being the most painful one(first time i went overseas with a girl waiting for me back home ((BEAMING!!!!)) ) and to the land of the small-eyes twice. Shopping was simply fantastic over there. I went in the depths of hell simply known as temburong once. And i was severly punished once. And guess what? Im still a commander. Im still working towards my projection. Im still going strong. Heck..i've never felt soooooooooooo good in my life before.

Well, in 3 weeks time, booking in and out of camps would be nothing but the past of what i used to do. Sleeping with a bunch of bunkmates, cleaning up the filthy toilet together..making it squeaky clean(clean enough to join some toilet competition =)), waking up early in the morning just to do pt, spending time to light up a fire so that we can cook in the jungles...yeah...the whole lot. That was fun...real fun memories...

And it all feels like as tho it was only yesterday that i just enlisted. ....

Again...yesteryear felt like yesterday again...

DEJAVU