unconscious reality

Im taking another pill just to fall asleep...

It's been a week since the operation and progress has not been quick as expected. I am virtually imprisoned in my own home thanks to a knee injury which (obviously) I didn't ask for but was given anyway. It's kind of like experience- you get it when you don't need it. So day in and day out, I wake up, take my medications, do my exercise regimes (which have been reduced embarrassingly to a few movements to strengthen the knee), watch tv, play games maybe and go about my day doing the same thing over and over again.

Showering and doing other necessities have become less of a chore but nonetheless still one albeit i am getting used to it somehow. I have to or else i'd be so shabby that I would actually smell of shit and pee. A few more years like that and I'd be the weird man who owns a cat. Nobody will even remember my name after that.

Tonight's conversation(what seems like it) has make me out to be someone who's demanding, self-centered and inconsiderate. Well, as always, I need to forsake mine to consider others because mine doesn't matter at all. This community before self catchline is really catching on(else it wouldn't be known as a catchline to begin with). So amidst the things that I have never blame others for but to suck it up and move on, I got one hell of a beating tonight. Again, I shall just suck it up and move along.

I miss being able to move about freely and do things as and when I want to. If it wasn't for this condition of the leg of mine, I would still be able to do all that without having people to bother so much about it. I hate that feeling...having to bog down others for my own needs. Well, I cannot wait for the day the doctor tells me that I don't need the damn crutches anymore! The only way the doctor can top that is to tell me that I have fully recovered!

Right now, everything is back to basics. At the age of 24, I am learning how to walk all over again. The last time I ever remembered doing such a thing was more than 20 years ago. It's frustrating and even the smallest of things can really bring you down. At the same time, the smallest of things can also overwhelm you with a sense of elation. So its really a give and take thing I suppose.

we really need to learn to say "oh what the hell" in life sometimes