Time is just going past way to fast for me. I feel like it's impossible for me to just sit down and do nothing. Every single second must be filled with an activity else it'll just flow away like that, forever lost. Its like yesterday feels like a million years ago. Memories fleeting away quickly. Not meeting someone for months feels like you haven't met them for years, decades..it feels like they've lived a lifetime ago, in a previous life perhaps.

Time is a damned commodity which we willingly trade in for a little bit of cash to buy us a little bit of happiness. I guess that's how it was intended. The more we work, the more we get to live. Irony CAN be found in that. Sayings like "Working to death" or "Working like hell"are so common that we have to find the humour in it just to relieve ourselves from this daily torture.

Up till now, i wonder. If god intended for us to die, why did he let us live. If god intended for us all to go to heaven, why did he allow us to do bad? Why did he allow for the devil to influence us to do the devil's bidding? Why did he create hell?

These questions can never be answer. As of now, the only thing that holds everything is faith....and yes, cigarettes. I am not questioning god nor his actions. But i wonder, and i hope that the answer becomes apparent.

Armageddon draws near. NO, i am not prophecizing. Rather, its what we see everyday. The signs are showing. The movies are making millions out of this fact...the one thing that everybody fears. Perhaps, this is why people are working harder then ever: the harder they work, the more they are able to live on this world and perhaps get lost in it.

Right now, my mind spins with thoughts of such. But I cover it up with thoughts of humour, of love, of success, of lameness, of everything but what i have just mentioned. Perhaps, this is god's way of testing my faith. If so, then this is proving to be extremely difficult.

NO! I do not deny in the existence of god. I AM NOT AN ATHEIST! Never will i doubt the existence of god. The only existence that i doubt is my own. Fact is, do i really exist? Do we really exist? Try locking yourself up in your home's store room...pitch dark. You dont see anything, you dont know anything...there is no one. YOU ARE ALONE! Then wonder this,"Do i exist?"