It's been a longggggggggggggg longgggggggggggggg time since I wrote anything here(I just had to emphasize on that). The holidays are almost up and I feel that it somehow isn't being fully utilized in a sense that I have yet to go anywhere. Almost 4 months of holidays and the furthest I've been to would be JB. Then again, do I really need to be going anywhere? Late nights..slack hours..work whenever I want to(super flexible hours!)..do whatever I want...well the list goes on really. It's really just me lazing around and not caring about anything at all. Save for a couple of things.

I have recently realized something about myself. When the going gets tough, the tough disappears. Recently, I've taken over the school's rugby team. So now, I actually have 2 things that I have to manage...unpaid! Besides the qualms that the grown-up babies (aka my NSmen) are giving me, I'd have to settle the ones with the team as well. A lot of times, when I feel that it's getting too much, I'd just lay in stasis and not do anything about it. They'd keep pounding me for something but I'd just not bother about it and move on.

Truth be told, those are merely examples of my withdrawals. Like in an attack, when you fear that your forces are getting to disorganized, withdraw to reorganize before mounting another attack. That way, you won't be overwhelmed by the ferocity of your enemies and also the rapid dissolution of your own forces. Well, Sun Tzu taught me that. I guess, that's how I really am. Could that possibly explain my lackluster for the previous semester? I mean, the anger carried me through well during the first part of it. But after losing the finals, I felt that it was all to overwhelming and so I retreated to this safe spot where I just couldn't be bothered about anything.

The thing is, no matter how much you encourage me to do something, I simply won't be bothered. I set my own pace. People who have tried to pace me in my runs have found out about that. Many have been frustrated about me and my "tantrums" that they would just leave me behind. Some have even found out that they were overtaken by me eventually towards the end. So i guess, the more I am forced to something, the more I will force myself to the exact opposite. I guess, a little bit of encourage does work sometimes. But the best motivation has to come from within. If you'd know how to activate that, I'd say you'll be ruling a country anytime soon. Right now, I'm just ruling the pitch. Who knows?

Right now, I'm glad only those two things are on my mind. Working is a priority. I'd still want to get myself a new bike. It's really time to let go of this one. It's old and sickly. God knows who much i've spent on this bike time and time again...just because I choose to take it easy on the road(I don't know why some people claim that I've one devil on the road when they choose to go that slowly). Well, lets wait till school starts. I guess, that's where the madness really begins. If I am able to graduate, I think, I might be qualified to work in a circus as a professional juggler. That, or something else other than teaching. Teaching would be the super last resort(and that would be after 6 months of being jobless).

I guess there's nothing much that I would like to write at the moment. Believe me, I have tons to write about here! Just that I am not in the right mood to write anything yet. Perhaps, soon that mood will come to me and I'd be blabbering my way thru for my own writing pleasure, and your reading pleasure(can you make that sentence sound dirty? I can!)

The any reason to doing anything is because I can, that's why