It really felt like going to war. Made me rethink about war altogether. What is war? Well, war is hell. That's basically about it. What's so hellish about it? A lot of things. One thing's for sure is that you do not get to keep in touch with your loved ones. The other thing is that its bloody tiring. And yeah, it can be frustrating at times. Im sure i swore and cursed the most in the platoon. Nobody seems to think so though. Oh wells. Urm what else? Oh yeah, in war, SOLDIERS STINKS ALOT! Rofl. Well, yeah. We do not get to shower....maybe except when we get pulled out from the front. And it'll last only for a few seconds. I dont even noe y they can even call it a shower. Horrible superiors. But yeahh. We're recruits. We have no say in anything. Even though i know what's going on. Guess what i get for voicing out? Yeah. More punishment. Guess its their way of telling me that me, whom of have no rank at all for the moment, is supposed to be really really stupid. Yeah. Grammatically incorrect statement there because im a recruit. Well, i suppose its for a purpose. We are supposed to be ever-learning. 3-G soldiers i suppose.


What worries me the most is that my ever-fading chance to make it to Officer Cadet School. Yeah. Its a very selfish thought. But god! I signed on! Yeah. Im hoping to get that Local Study Award. This is despite my poor results. Hehs. Nevertheless, i've already secured a place in NTU. Im going to do SOCIOLOGY!!! Yeah. I dont tink im going for the NUS FASS interview. Guess i'll have to study psychology the sneaky way. Hope it works. Oh maybe i could just take A maths! Maybe. I havent done any maths for the past 2 years save for the math section of my SAT. Yeah. I did kinda well for that section. I screwed up my verbal. Wasnt suprised that SMU rejected me. =). Oh wells, the future is still quite uncertain for me. Yeah. Part of me wants to do my family proud by becoming the first undergrad and hopefully a bachelor of something in the entire family(including all my relatives). Then there's another part of me that wants to fulfil my wishes b4 i die; tour the world as a soldier. Yeah. If i can get the LSA, i can fulfil both. The best part of it is that i will be financially sound with it. If not....yeah. That's when the dilemma starts. This sucks.


Well, at least i have bigger worries at the moment right now. Not making it into OCS at all! Yeah. That's the biggest worry of all. Worries of all worries. Y am i worried? So far, i havent excelled in any of the major events. My shooting was screwed up. While my night shooting was close to perfect, my day shooting stunk! I kept missing the target. It was sooooooooooo bright. And it was only 100m away. Yet i missed! I just had to miss. Even my Platoon Commander is amused that i can shoot best at night but am a bobo shooter in the morning. Everyone else was the total opposite. I just needed to do what i did b4 to get that perfect score and get company best shot award. I walked away with nothing. IPPT, dont really want to talk about it. Chin-up, Standing Broad Jump, Shuttle Run and Sit-ups are my favourites coz i can all 5 points for each of the stations. But when it comes down to my 2.4k run, i suck! I hate running. Even though im forced to do it, i still hate it. I sprint. I dont really keep running for more than 30secs. My best timing for my 200m was 23.8 secs. It's relatively slow, but that's just about how long i can run. Other than that, im just struggling thru. Yeah! But if u want me to run a leisure 10k run with ppl running with me and enjoying the view at the same time, i'll gladly do it under an hour. As they say, sibeisian. lol.

Next up is my Situational Test. I really really really have to perform here. I screwed up this morning's granade throwing. Instead of landing and rolling towards the target, my grenade landed and rolled back towards the pothole. Plus, i was really really clumsy. Dont know y. I need gym. I need food. I need rest. I need to be taught the proper way. I need to train some more. I need more practice. Give me that and hell yeah, i'll outperform anyone. ANYONE! Selfish words since im in the infantry at the moment. But yeah. OCS.....