Well. This is it. In a few hours time, i'll be back to being a soldier. A military life till the next time i get to be in civilians. The weeklong break was well needed. Changed my life even. Or some aspects of it at least. NDP was a blast. Shopping was nice and refreshing. Soccer and fireworks was energizing. Saturday was...urm...depressing. Yeah. Sort of. And today's....worse? Cant help feeling this emptiness within me. Weird. Hope the week's busy training that lies ahead can help me take my mind of things.

Hope. Such a vague word which can only spell dissapointment.

Anyways, this morning, while playing soccer with some other people, this question was thrown into my face again.
"Are you malay?"
How many times have i been asked this very question. Hell, people have spoken to me in chinese before and to their horror, realized that i wasnt chinese after all. ROFL.
Ya. For convinience sake, i'd say yes to that question every single time. Why not? My IC says that im one. Quite painstaking to explain to them all the time anyway. Besides, my gramps died when i was young and my grandma had a serious illness which prevented her from speaking. Yah. That was my dad's side. On my mom's side....well...i have no idea of who's who. All i know is that im part of everything from the Bugis to Javanese to Indian. The chinese part is to insignificant to make a big hoohaa about it.

Family. Ya. DOnt really know much about my family tree. Sucks. DOnt even spend time with my own family much. When it was young, it was because my parents were working really really hard. So i had not much time to spend with them. Then as i grew older, i got busier. At first it was silat. Then it was rugby. Then it was both. Then both got to a higher level which meant more time spent there. So ya. Go figure. Time not spent with my family. Even if i do find the time these days, it would feel kind of akward to spend time with them now. Guess the damage is already done. And i could still remember the time my dad would take the whole family out for corporate functions and stuff. It was nice. It was also a long time ago.

Now, family would be people who pick up their arms and and fight alongside me. People who i dont feel akward spending some time with. Yeah...guess so.

Back to camp in 2 hours time. Fairy tales do come to an end. Crap..