It's almost the end of the semester and I am still not worried about the exams. It is my final year and as much as I hate for it all to end, I can't wait either. I guess it's a mixed feeling kind of thing. There has never been an instance where I had taken a break from everything and do whatever I want without having to worry about absolutely anything at all. By never, I really, literally not figuratively, mean never. Well, maybe almost never since I didn't have to worry about anything after my PSLE. Not even screwed up aggregates but who cares? I am where I am now no?
Well, with that exception, the only other time that I went on a holiday with my family was in 2010. Suffice to say, it was the wrong place to be with them as all my parents wanted to do was to nuah in the hotel room. Well, I could probably list out a whole lot of places that I have never been to but to list the place that I have actually been to would be so much easier since that list is ridiculously short.
Vacations aside, not a day goes by without me not having to worry about anything. Sometimes, I just feel like I am actually in over my head in all things- or drowning if you like. To make matters worse, it's not exactly drowning in water but in quicksand- the more I struggle, the more I sink. I was actually toying with the idea of taking a year off of school. But then, I was worried about getting a job and all that nonsense that I simply put it off. Nobody has a clue as to how tired I really am. But to just swing my arms in exasperation in "fuck this shit" style is simply not doing justice to myself. When forced to choose between fight or flight, 11 out of 10 times I would choose the former. And no, there is nothing wrong with the previous statement.
What I really crave for is a simply life out in the wilderness. On my many rides, I was actually thinking of actually staying with a nomadic tribe somewhere in some desert where my only concern is my own survival. It seems to me right now that I'd be better off in the Sahara than any other desert or perhaps just somewhere in the middle east because those people seems to have gotten their shit together. Language wise would be tough. Arabic is kind of hard for me. Trying to speak that language would really make me look like I've just escaped from some institution for the mentally retarded. As for French, which is commonly used in North Africa, well it's not any better; or worse for that matter. The only French I know is "salut" for hello, "au revoir" for goodbye, "poulet" for chicken and well...I know the French for "fucking shit".
Well, whatever the case, I seriously need a break. It's just been one thing after another. I haven't actually have the time to enjoy whatever I want to for various reasons. Well, having tons of money right now would really be great. I mean whoever said that money can't buy you happiness is probably some lonely rich old fag who doesn't know how to share.
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