It seems like its getting harder and harder to keep myself distracted. My faith in things are waning as I sink deeper and deeper into this hell hole. So far, nothing has been going great. The semester went down the drain. I made the person that I've truly ever loved so hurt, that the mere thought of me hurts her the most. In return for that, now it hurts so much to realize what I'm doing. I guess I am getting what I've deserved. I shall receive this punishment willingly.

I guess I have been pushing hard for things to happen. Perhaps its just me. I have been pushing hard for things all my life. It's called effort. Nothing has ever happened to me because of luck. Everything that has happened to me is all because of the determined effort that I've put in in either work or pleasure. Nothing has been left to chance for me because I am someone who believes strongly in taking matters into my own hands. That said, do rest assured that it has no negative connotations.

Then again, that is no excuse for what I did. I should have saw it coming. No matter how much I've longed for you, I should be able to control myself. But i failed-epically.

All I ever needed is you. That is all I have to say. Believe when I say that what I did, was and still is for you own good. Because being humans, we all need reminders sometimes. Even me.

I'd do anything to be in ur arms once again