Everything happens for a reason doesn't seem to stick well with many. I used to believe it with such furor that I was fatalistically fatalistic. But over time, as naivety wore off, I grew a lot wiser (though still no wisdom teeth). I guess, whatever is happening over the past few months have made me someone different. Like I've said before, I am reinventing myself. Some might not like it because to some, it might be because they can never have what I want to have- a really good life.
It's really not fair for someone to instigate the whole thing and then having to blame someone else for it just so that they don't feel so bad to begin with.

And once again, I've digressed. Anyway, everything is to be taken with a pinch of salt because if you grab a handful, you're just going to die of high-blood pressure. In other words, it's going to kill you from the inside. I remember in JC when friends ask me, "Why are you so uppity most of the time when we are all stressed (from studying for the A levels)?" My answer was classic. I told them that everything happens for a reason. Whatever happens was probably meant to happen anyway. IF I was meant to pass my A levels and head on to JC I definitely would. If I wasn't supposed to head off into that direction, no amount of effort can change that. Not even if I cracked my head a thousand times over. Not even if I had to stay in JC for four years. Not even if re-took my A levels many times over. In that way, I believed that life has been pretty much scripted. We are merely passengers going along for the ride.
It also provided for a good excuse to be continue playing rugby all the way till the last match which was on the weekend before the first paper *sniggers*

That said, fatalism used to run deep within me. Army changed all that for me. It was only at that point of time when I was in SISPEC that I learned that I had to use effort to grow. Fatalism didn't run well with the instructors. Though feedback came hard and dry, I could see that my effort affected the lives of others. It somehow made life bearable then. For those who have no idea what SISPEC means: Suffer In Silence Plus Extra Confinement. Yeap! But effort on my part and everybody else's really made life bearable and even enjoyable then. When I went into my unit, I transferred that into my men as well. I don't know if I am the only Sergeant who punished his men for taking their own sweet time to book out. But I really pressed them into putting in effort as well and then help them translate that effort into rewards.

Oh, by the way, that only started in SISPEC because in BMT, I would work my butt off everyday but I still(like many other hopeful young boys), were not selected for OCS.
I could still remember the disappointment that my platoon mates expressed when I told them that I wasn't going to be joining them at OCS

So university started and I thought, lets try it here as well. Despite the naysayers who's been continually telling me that it was really no point that I try so hard because at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter. I guess, naysayers are all part of life. Then again, I do get a sense of satisfaction from wanting to prove others wrong. So far, that has worked out pretty well for me.

Then again, everyone is treading between the two extremes: not trying at all and trying too hard. Just doing enough is hard. This has nothing to do with doing everything within moderation but putting in the right amount of effort to effect change. Too little or too much, and you might just end up with how Bangkok is right now- in a state of emergency.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Everyday, we are just rolling with the punches and deal with changes the best we know of. That said, it is not all that bad. Because if whatever is meant to happen, happens then I can assure you that it happens for a good reason. Sometimes, our mind and heart is too convoluted to see that reason at the moment. But, not everything comes at once. It's been weaved into our lives one at a time. Like what George Bernard Shaw once said, "Time is this thing that prevents everything from happening at the same time." I don't think anyone is able to handle that. Imagine having stomach ache and feeling hungry at the same time. I wonder how that feels like.

to be believed, make the truth unbelievable