It's been days since I've finished my 2nd year of univeristy and it seems as though the days just drags on by. It's as if I am looking forward towards something although I am still not quite sure what that something really is. Either that, or there is nothinguch to look forward to. It's just do something if it ever comes up. If not, there will just be nothing for me to look forward to as there really isn't anything for me to do at all.

Well I guess this time around, things are just going to be different. Way different than it used to be. Let's just say that the 22nd and 28th of
May are just dates to me now which brings no significance to anyone else(even if they wanted
to). Guess that's how life is(very cheesy I know). Oh well, life is also a series of tongue biting parades. Most of the time, I find myself in tha situation- not being able
to say the things that I really wanted to say. Can't blame anyone on this. It could be because somethings are just worth mentioning- or so I tend to make others think. Perhaps I just don't want to be ruining the lives of others more than I have already did. Having my moves and what I say(even here) scrutanized only makes things
worse. Hence, I can only do one thing and one thing only - biting my tongue just to
get me by.
NOT SAYING THE THINGS THAT I WANT TO SAY

On the whole, I just feel that my sophmore year has been pretty lousy. Bridges have been burned and I've been such a lousy person on the whole. My covering-up act
has been so succesful that I've even managed to
bluff myself that I am okay. It's not just one thing that is leading
me into this melanchonic state but a whole lot of shitty factors that's reponsiblr
for this. I guess the holiday merely intensified it.
ANTICIPATION HAS THE HABBIT TO SET YOU UP FOR DISSAPOINTMENTS

I just wish that I didn't have any obligations to
serve or a contract to keep. I just feel like flying
over to England and stay with my relatives for the summer. Ahhh! The ideal
mind isn't idling after all. But like all
other relatives, I really do not know what to talk to them
about other than the usual qna session about school and stuff like that. Then again, a change of environment could do some good me.

Well, along the way to somewhere, I guess that I have lost my faith in my religion, people and even myself. People who saw how quiet I was after the finals thought I was just dissapointed about losing that game. Fact was, I didn't want to play rugby anymore. I was
just doing it in hopes of maybe somebody would actually show up. Alas, in the saw of faces, I could not find any familiar face that would actually
comfort me enough for me to give that game
my all.

Well, so much so for me being uppity and all. I'm just another dick
on the pond.