Obligations...
That word is simply a bitch. It sucks the fun out of everything because you are obligated to do something means you can't enjoy it while you're at it. In a sense, you've been dutied so that means it has become an objective which you have to accomplish. When is achieving an objective ever fun? Remember those adventure camps that you went to when you were still in school? Everything was so exciting when you're packing and what nots...then you reach the campsite and everything goes downhill from there.

I've digressed. But that's also because whatever that I INTENDED to write about here has somehow dissapated from my mind. Well, I'll improvise.

One thing I still am extremely peeved about is the way people would leave their droppings on my space and not even have the courtesy to tell me who they are. Then again, who leaves their crap and tell everyone that it was them who left it there anyway? Guess, nobody does that. So okay, I respect that! You may choose not to tell me who you actually are when you leave your crap lying around on my space. Permission granted!

School sucks big time! All that's been happening lately, I simply hope that it will all be worth it in the future because right now, whatever is happening or has already happened has somehow persuaded me that it is not that worth it anymore. It's like how the Great War was fought. It started out as a war for justice; to show who was right! Eventually, it only showed who was left and only then did people realize that it wasn't worth it anymore. I bet every leader then could be heard mumbling, "It was a good idea at that time.."

This investment of time and energy(and even my soul which I am pretty sure I'll never be able to get back any of it) is seriously demanding. Sometimes I wonder if whatever I am doing is really worth it all. I sometimes(keyword being sometimes) envy those who's only activity in school is just to go to class, mingle a little and do assignments. They have nothing else in the world to do(aka no life) so that means they have all the time in the world to do whatever the fuck they want to(aka to get a life).

Then there are those who are already working. Things couldn't get any simpler than that. Go to work, do your work. Go home rest and not care about work at all. Right now, there is a blur in my two dimensions. School, work and home has all blurred into one big mess. There are no separations at all except for the one in terms of space. Other than that, it's all jumbled up into one big gooey shit that I am slowly picking off from my deteriorating body.

It gets tiring. Really really tiring. Between assignments and readings, I have trainings, a part-time job and basically little to no quality time with the girlfriend. Life couldn't get any shittier than it already is. Got to dig my way out of this shithole. NIE people have it easy..honestly. And anyone else who has yet to embrace any leadership roles in anything or anywhere near it has no idea what is it like to juggle to the point of near insanity.

Well, the line has been blurred anyway. I've lost track of time- well days to be exact. This morning, I woke up at 7 ready to run errands thinking it was acutally a Monday only to fall asleep again and waking up an hour later thinking that it was actually Tuesday. So I got up, and went to sit on the sofa only to stone for an hour(without even realizing it) and then realizing that today was actually a Wednesday. Can you imagine the horror? Well, neither can I. I was as cool as a cucumber(couldn't get any cheesier than this hehs). I even took my own sweet time to get to school despite it already being 5mins past the starting of my lecture(and I was still at home despite of that).

AH FUCK! Just gonna roll with the punches.