Somebody give me a sign, that everything's going as planned

The first week of school is rounding up and I have yet to get into the groove of a student's life once again. The holidays was well stretched. There was simply enough time for everything and for everything there was it's own pace. But with the semester beckoning, it seems like I have to rethink the pace of how things are going to be like. Looking through the course outlines, it seems like the thought of going through the semester is very very intimidating. Plus the mentioning of FYP scares the shit out of me(bye-bye constipation!). Wonder if it is still possible if I am able to take it all in my own stride.

Other than that, taking over as captain for the school team wasn't as easy as I thought it would be like. Now, I have responsibilities towards a bunch of grown-up babies with their own set of qualms about every single thing that you can(or cannot) think of. I don't think I can enjoy rugby like I used to. Now, I'd have to think of the team as well instead of just the game. Well, metting out the list of nominees for my exco probably lifted off some burden of my shoulders. I'd probably be delegating more from here on out with the team coming back together with the start of the semester.

I can't believe im just talking about how sucky my life can get. Right now, while doing this, I'm thinking about which readings I'd have to do so that I don't get left behind in class. I've got to seriously pull up my GPA after the fiasco that was last semester. I guess, all that drama was so intense that I was beginning to find it "entertaining". It was so "entertaining" that my TV has lost its purpose in the living room. It took more than 400 channels to surf on for me to using the TV for that purpose instead of being one.

Im not making sense. Guess my mind is all jumbled up with thoughts and worries. So is my heart. I'm not sure that this is the path that God wanted me to take 3 years back(or is it 2?). Life in the army would have been so much better as the career path laid out for me seems pretty tempting. Ahh...the operative word being 'tempting' means that it was a distraction for me. But anyway, that is the life that I do crave for. If one has gone through it, you would know. You either love it or hate it. Those who haven't, please dont even begin to imagine.

This brings me on to my next point. I just don't understand why those who did "NS" in the police of civil defence keeps dissing us boys in green. Sure you did "real" work. Well, truth be told, most of you are there because you can't don green for one reason or another(mainly political here). Ok ok...so you do do real work. But does that mean that it gives you anymore of a reason to say that because you do, us army boys are just "playing" around in the jungle?

An officer once told me, "Do you know why we are a strong country? It's because we have a strong military and therefore nobody wants to attack us. Don't believe what other people say about us not being tested. It's precisely because we are THAT strong that nobody wants to test us." That somehow comforted me.

This road to "manhood", from boys to men: NS. I have my own set of criteria if you want to claim to me that you already did your national service.
1) You've dug at least one shellscrape. If you can find an equivalent to this, then you're fine.
2) There was a time that you slept less 30mins for a period of staying awake for at lease 72 hours.
3) You thought you were actually in hell because you were tired, hungry, wet and cold but there was simply no way out(or still a long way out) of the situation.
4) You were married to something that was about a meter long.
5) Your weekends got constantly "burnt"
6) You've spent at least one major holiday in some foreign country far away from your family and have minimal contact with them

I guess I can only think of 6 criteria for now. If you were to say that you have already did your NS, I'd say you have to hit at least 4 out of 6(im being extremely lenient here), then I'd say that yes, you did your NS. So what's the moral of the story? Stop dissing. Without us, you police boys would have no thiefs to catch; they would all be already dead and so would you. Without us, you would have no station to house your fire engines because it would have probably be bombed out.

Mules are always boasting that their ancestors were horses